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Post by Redneck Jack on Dec 4, 2006 10:32:51 GMT -5
Shank interrupted Panama's finger checking and said, "Aye cap'n tha' woodoo lady is 'ere abouts......."
Panama smelled the third finger on his right hand and said, "Ya mean this one? Hillary? I thought she was still back in Washington DC...."
"Wha' in bloody helll does she want?"
"Send a message to the Blitz tell them to use all means possible to avoid contact with the woodoo woman Hillary Clinton..........I've have seen the ugly spawn she produces and they ain't pretty...........Unless ya put the word ugly in front of it...."
"How come this finger smells like Hillary n the rest smell like nuts?"
Shank looked at his captain and said, "Maybe the other nine smell like hillary n only one smells like nuts?"
"Von Rhinoherd er wha' ever 'is name is would know wha' shit smells er I mean Hillary smells like his wig is made out of Yak hairs............Just like Hillary's bra..........."
"Hey VR pull er I mean smell me finger n see's wha' ya think it smells like!!"
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Post by von Reinhardt on Dec 4, 2006 15:09:41 GMT -5
" Herr Kapitän, Jack is shoutin' some thing o' some one mit der name Hillary Clint some thing, und he makes some strange gesture with his finger  " Hermann said to Reinhardt, Reinhardt grabs the spyglass and looks at Jack, who is standing with his middlefinger raised.... " Arrrrrrr, Fido moon him ! " What is this about Hillary ? Is that the redhaired seamonster the boatswain Al Bundy allways talks about ?,,,,,,, " Fido get yer pants on again, and go get Al Bundy, I guess he's sleeping among the shoes down in the storage room ! " |
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Post by Redneck Jack on Dec 4, 2006 19:20:43 GMT -5
As Blind Bob, in the crows nest, trains his telescope on the Blitz he see's a large white ass staring back at him.................
He shouts "Captain thar be a a bloody great white whale wit' one big brown eye off the starboard bow..........It appears to have boarded the Blitz........N is making his way across the deck towards the ships cap'n!"
Panama looked towards the Bliyz and then he shouted back to Blind Bob............."Aye lad it looks like tha' filthy whale Morbid Dick. I 'ere thar be a bounty fer tha' blighter.............Shank braek out the harpoon gun n fire it at tha' fearsome beasty"
"Try n get i rye in the eye hole........A blind whale will be easier ta capture n cut up then one tha' can see."
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Post by Captain Wolfe on Dec 5, 2006 19:05:26 GMT -5
"Wha the bloody hell?!?!?" Captain Wolfe awoke from his drunken slumber from under the bar table. "Those scallywags done went an' sailed wit' me very own map!"
Boarding the North Star, Wolfe hollers for his first mate. "Hobbs!! Have ye seen where those other tew ragtag excuses fer pirate ships sailed off fer?" "Aye sir! They done been headin' in that thar direction. The one was firin' a harpoony thing at this big white thing on the deck o' the other. Looked like a long range game o' lawn darts ta me."
"Well, get the sails up an' after 'em as quick as you please, Hobbs! Them rascals done got off wit' me Big Dick map!" Hobbs, eyes his captain suspiciously. "Now Cap'n, don't be goin' an' braggin' on yerself. Why ol' Mary rottencrotch done tol' everyone 'bout yer shortcomings."
"Tha' be none o' yer business, Hobbs! Besides, it were mighty cold that day, it were. Now get the blasted sails up afore I have ye keelhauled!!!"
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Post by von Reinhardt on Dec 5, 2006 19:36:20 GMT -5
Fido got his pants on, and went looking fer Al Bundy, the boatswain who had a tic with shoes and fat ladies, and spend most o' his life, hiding from some one with red hair, and every time he felt a little like homesick, he took out a picture looked at it, and signed on fer 5 years on the sea again. Several times he have saved the life o' von Reinhardt, last as 50 pyrates had Reinhardt in a corner, Al jumped right into the pyrate crowd, shouting " ye don't scare me, I'm married with kids ! " As Reinhardt stood waiting fer Fido to come up from the hull with Al, a harpoon flew over his head, with a rope tired to it, and a sailor hanging in the rope, the harpoon went down in the sea far on the other side o' the BLITZ, taking the sailor with it... " Well Hermann, seems ol' Jack had fired one o' his crew ! "
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Post by Redneck Jack on Dec 12, 2006 16:02:53 GMT -5
Panama watched his harpoon miss the mark.
"Mister Shank go below n get that red headed wench Peg. The one we 'ave all been bangin' fer the last 5 years now..........
She's abou' worn out lets send 'er over to Vr's ship fer some relaxation..........
It'll give 'er a chance tew dry out........She keeps dripping n leaving tracks every where she walks.
Leave tha' lil blonde wench, Kelly, though she has a lot of miles left in them thighs......
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Post by von Reinhardt on Dec 13, 2006 16:25:27 GMT -5
Al was walking restless around on the maindeck, he could sense some horrible evnts was about ta happen..... He grabb'd a spyglass and look over ta the Double cross, he saw some thing red, and screamed ta Reinhardt, " Capt'n we got ta set sails, set every thing the tablecloth tu, we got ta get away as fast as possible, I just saw the redhaired monster, I tell ye capt'n it's a matter o' life and deadth ( Mine surely ) "
" Allright allright, set every thing ye lazy dogs !! "
" Cabinboy/girl fetch me anothe botle o' Grog, this here had a hole in it ! "
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Post by Redneck Jack on Dec 18, 2006 13:18:30 GMT -5
Panama and his crew watched gleefully as Peg flashed her tits at the Blitz and shouted "AL BABY I'M YOURS...........RIDE ME HARD AND PUT ME AWAY WET..........N WHEN YOUR DONE WIT' ME I'LL LET YA HUMP KELLY AS WELL........N BUD IF YA LIKE........."
Panama looked across the water at the Blitz. "Look shank they be getting out the table clothes......Looks like they be planning a party fer us............Set some more sail n brace the fore mast lets catch em before all the food is gone."
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Post by von Reinhardt on Dec 21, 2006 19:03:22 GMT -5
Al stood watching Jacks ship through his spyglass, when suddenly he through the spyglss overboard and scream'd " I'm blind, I saw some thing that wasn't meant fer any mans eyes, I'm blind ! "
" Hermann get Al down below, I can't stand ta hear a grown man cry, Fido keep following the french pyrate .. Cabinboy/girl where's me Grog ? . And by the way, go over and mark the railling where Al throw the spyglass out, we can go back later and get it ! "
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Post by von Reinhardt on Jun 23, 2008 16:06:21 GMT -5
After some times, BLITZ was pulling away fast, due ta the fact that Al was pulling the boat with a rowboat, he seemed to be very determent ta avoid the Red headed sea monster.
Cabinboy/girl another bottle o' Grog !
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" Hermann said to Reinhardt, Reinhardt grabs the spyglass and looks at Jack, who is standing with his middlefinger raised.... " Arrrrrrr, Fido moon him ! "
